SesshoumaruPapa
by Deep Miasma
Summary: Rin reminisces about the day she met her Sesshoumaru-Sama and what she's always thought of him. We get to see into Sesshoumaru's "feelings" about little Rin and some thoughts on why he allowed her to follow him that fated day.
1. Rin

Sesshoumaru-Papa

I've decided to try a shorter fic so this is what popped into my mind first.

Ever since that day, the fated day that I met him, I knew that there was something special about him. I knew that there was something special about my Sesshoumaru-Sama. The fact that he was a youkai didn't faze me one bit as I approached him that evening. I remember exactly what I was doing. I was scrounging the ground for what would be my dinner that night. Those leaves weren't taut enough, and those were too ripe, I couldn't do a thing with this. I couldn't go to the lake to catch any fish or I'd get beaten again by the elders. That's when I looked up and saw something, a shiny white orb fall from the sky and land gently in the middle of the forest. I didn't even hear a whisper of an explosion or the ground rumble beneath my feet, but I knew that someone was in trouble.

Immediately, I took off, running through the forest, dodging past trees and as I got closer, I began to get chilly. I slowed to a walk and wrapped my arms around my body, rubbing my hands against my arms. What was causing this to happen to me in the midst of summer? All of these thoughts erased automatically when I saw the most graceful yet tragic scene I had ever laid eyes upon. It was a man, a youkai man laid on the ground. He was wearing mostly white, but the thing I noticed most was a boa-like furry accessory wrapped around his right arm and flowing down to the ground with the rest of his royal warrior garments. His face was turned away from me so I wasn't sure if he was dead or asleep. So I moved forward. I felt my bare feet scrape against the grass so loudly. It was as if I was just asking to be noticed, but I was trying my best to be silent. Too late.

As soon as I took one more step, the creature spun to face me, large red eyes of fury glowing, and growled at me threateningly. I gasped, which was one of the few sounds I had ever made since my parents were killed and I was rendered a mute. I began to back away. My mind was screaming out to me, "Run away! Run away!" But my heart was countering with, "He needs you, Rin-chan. Do not abandon him." So what did I do? I did not abandon him, how could I? However, I did leave. I wasn't going to stay and talk to him, I couldn't. Not only was there a danger of him deciding to kill me, little girl or not, but I could not speak to anyone. A mute shows no favorites. So I left only to return the next day with some of the food that I had collected for myself the day before. I wanted to return to him as soon as I could so I didn't have time to pick more food for myself. I remember how settled my heart felt inside when I met up with him this second time. His eyes were closed, no longer red I assumed, and he was lying on his boa, so I assumed he hadn't moved from that spot since I last saw him. He must have been hurt really bad. My heart sank. Who could have done such a thing? He was sleeping, but I could tell that he knew I was there. So I set down the thermos of warm soup and bits of grain that I had left.

I smiled to myself and turned to walk away, but then I heard him speak for the first time. His voice was firm yet his face was mild. He said he didn't eat the type of food that I brought him. Of course now I understand that since he's a youkai, he's not interested at all in any of the food that I like. But being as naïve as I was back then, I took what he said the wrong way. He didn't eat that type of food? Well I went to fetch him some more, some fresh fish this time. I was discovered and beaten by the elders. I could only see out of one eye after they were finished with me. I dare not even think of what my other eye eve looked like. I was not afraid. I continued to move on, picking out only the best grain that I could find. I went back to him.

Before I even reached him he turned me away, but a bit kinder this time. This only made me refuse more. I ran to him and threw myself onto my knees, offering the food to him with the little muffles of words that I could get out at the time. He didn't even look at me. I sighed in defeat, staring down at the grain that I had worked so hard to find for him.

"What's happened to you, girl?"

I looked up, surprised that those words came from him, the same person who turned me away, the same person who told me to leave him alone. When I didn't answer, he looked at me. His eyes, they were so gentle. To think that I was once nearly frightened away by them, but now they were mild like golden stones on a beach at sunrise. I couldn't help but laugh. I surprised even myself. It was the only emotion that I had expressed in so long, yet the only one that I could allow myself to convey. It was then that I knew that I had been right all along. He was not the fearful youkai that he had been when I first met him, at least not to everyone. He was powerful, yet weak, cold, yet kind, mysterious, yet I could read his every thought. Isn't this odd? How a great high-class youkai and a peasant girl, total strangers, came to travel together?

"Don't think that I care, I'm just curious."

Oh, but you do care, Sesshoumaru-sama. You shouldn't try to hide it. I knew he cared, otherwise he would never have asked me. My grin was wide as I laughed at him, but his neutral expression never changed.

So when I returned to the village that afternoon, I was so happy. I skipped home as if I was walking on a cloud. My mission was finally complete, or so I thought. As I walked into my cave of a home I saw a man there, drinking whatever was left of my fresh water. He turned to me and asked if the cave belonged to me. I gravitated to the side of the cave and nodded shyly.

At that moment, I heard wolves, we both heard wolves. They were heading our way and they weren't just passing by. The man fled from the cave, pushing me out of his way and leaped into the lake, trying to swim away, but they got him. The wolves followed him into the lake and bit him, dragging him out by his flesh. And then I saw their master, he was a wolf youkai! He said something, but I couldn't hear from where I was, but I supposed the man owed something to him. When he took it back, he commanded the wolves to kill him, and not only them, but whomever else they wanted. My body was quivering. What was I to do? I could only stand there and watch the wolves slaughter every single person in my village. And then they only did what came natural to them: they came after me.

I don't remember how long I ran, but I knew that my legs weren't giving in any time soon. I wasn't going to let myself die, not after I had come so far in my short life. I had too many things to do. But I was so scared, and I only had one capable eye to lead me to safety. I looked up ahead and I could see him, or what I imagined of him. Sesshoumaru-sama. He was standing in the distance, his long white hair flowing like a river. I could only think of him as I tripped on a loose root and fell to the ground. He was the last thing on my mind as the wolves caught up with me...


	2. Sesshoumaru

Sesshoumaru-Papa

Part Two

The Kaze no Kizu, was it really executed by that foolish hanyou? The same weak hanyou who could not even activate Tetsusaiga's true power until I, Sesshoumaru mentioned it. One could say that I sealed my own fate by referring to the Kaze no Kizu. No matter, there was no way to bring a change to the past, and I was stuck in this fateful present, lying on the ground in the weakest state that I could ever recall being in. When I was lying there, who was to approach me but a young child? I tried to frighten her, but she only stood there, staring at me. I wonder what her intentions were. They were clear soon enough. This little girl brought me food, Human food, and expected me to eat it. To think that she had the nerve to even attempt to advance towards me, much less endeavor to feed me. This Sesshoumaru is quite capable of feeding himself. So I turned her away. Several times I turned her away, but she would only continue to come back, bringing me more of her disgusting Human delicacies.

And then one day I noticed that one of her eyes was severely beaten and there were bruises covering most of her small childish features. I don't know what came over me; perhaps I was delirious from lying in the same location for so long. I asked her what happened to her, I, Sesshoumaru wanted to know how the little girl had gotten her bruises, this little Human girl. She laughed at me. I looked at her. What else could she do? She was a mute after all, but that laugh meant more than she intended. She was trying to tell me something. "So you do care after all!" her one eye said to me. Immediately I denied her silent claims as imprudence. Of course I didn't care. She was just a Human after all.

But this Human, why was she the first thing that I sensed when I reunited with Jaken later that day? I caught onto her scent as quickly as it flowed through the wind. It was her blood mixed with that off wolves. She had been killed. I was not surprised, nor was I concerned. Young ones like her died every day from famine, disease, and invasions of all kinds. I stress once again that I was not concerned, so why did I turn back for her? Foolish Tenseiga, it was your fault. You led me back to her. I could tell that even Jaken believed that I was taking leave of my senses.

When I found her, something in my heart altered, as if this Sesshoumaru even admits to having a heart. She was lying on the ground, her eyes as dim as the woods that evening. I knew that she was dead before I even caught her scent. Jaken asked me if I knew her. How could I say yes? As usual, I ignored the little imp. I could feel Tenseiga communicating with me, "Do something, Sesshoumaru. I saved you, now save her, save this girl who tried so hard to aid you." I couldn't take much more of this. I drew Tenseiga and aimed it towards the young girl. When I did this, something very strange occurred. I could see the beasts from the underworld hovering around her, claiming her as one of their own. Could this Tenseiga, that could not kill, cut those who were already dead? I raised Tenseiga.

"Sesshoumaru-Sama, what are you doing?"

I swung down at the underworld creatures, destroying them all with one sweep of my useless blade. Then I knelt down and took the dead girl in my arm. I felt her heart beat and her breath slowly return to her. This shocked me. So, I had the power to revive the dead, did I? Not exactly a power I would boast, but it was a gift from Father. The young girl opened her eyes and looked up at me. She was completely healed. Not even one scratch rested upon her youthful flesh. Even she was surprised that I came back for her. I set her back on her feet and stood up, walking past Jaken who by now was uttering all sorts of nonsense about me slicing him down with no guarantee of his survival.

"Tenseiga..." I said to the sword, grinning at me through the sheath at my waist. "You have compelled me to save a Human life today."

Now that I think of it, Rin was never a burden. She could get quite annoying at times, but she always did what she was told and addressed me in the correct manner. She was almost like a weaker female version of Jaken, who had been a loyal servant to me for as long as I can remember. Rin never served as much more than someone I could watch over, "baby-sit", as my hanyou brother likes to call it. I don't think I need to answer the fools who ask me, "Why do you travel with a Human girl if you claim to hate all Humans?" It's none of their business anyhow.

I remember walking with her one day and she began to ask me all sorts of questions that made no sense.

"What makes shooting stars?"

"Why is the sky blue?"

"Why don't you and your brother get along?"

Did I answer any of her childish questions? Of course not. I wasn't under any obligation to be her parent, a father that would answer all of his child's insolent questions even if they were just making it up as they went along. No. This Sesshoumaru was not going to be that Human child's father.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin asked one night when I presumed she was sleeping.

I turned to her. "What, Rin?"

The little girl got up and made her way over to the tree I was sitting against, resting my eyes. I felt her sit down beside me.

"Do you think we'll always be together?"

_Oh, not this again..._

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because...because I don't think I can be alone. I can't be alone anymore, Sesshoumaru-sama..." Her little voice began to tremor.

"What are you getting at?" I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her face was buried into her knees. Was she crying? I sighed. If there was one thing that I hated the most about Humans, it was their bothersome need to express their feelings to the world.

"You, Ah-Un, Jaken-sama, you've all been so good to me, and I don't think I ever want to lose that." She leaned up against me and clutched onto my sleeve.

I didn't bother to push her away, even if she was making me feel uncomfortable. It would only make her persist to cry. I didn't know which was worse anyway.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think of me?"

"What do you mean?" This entire conversation was beginning to aggravate me.

"Am I your friend? Your companion? Do I get in your way?"

"Rin, stop asking me all of these nonsense questions..."

"But...I..."

"Rin." I maintained a firm voice to let her know that I was seriously becoming tired of her and her silly questions.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," Rin said, standing up. "But I have one last question to ask you."

I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the tree, allowing her to ask me her "one last question".

"Why did you revive me?"

My eyes opened involuntarily. This was the one question that I feared, the one question that I never expected her to ask me. What could I tell her? Could I decline to answer her question? I could try, but she would only ask more and more questions as if to take place of the one I never answered. I turned to her and gestured for her to sit down. She did so happily.

"Rin, what I am about to tell you, you should never even so much as utter to anyone else," I told her.

"Okay."

"Not even Jaken."

"All right."

I thought for a minute. I could hide forever if I wanted to, but I didn't want to anymore. Rin deserved to know why she was revived if anyone. I could trust her to keep secret what I was about to tell her.

"A long time ago, I was different, not much different, but different enough to make a clear distinction as to the way I am now. As you know, I used to slaughter Humans as if they were cattle, Jaken and I would annihilate entire armies of Humans whenever we believed that they would hinder our passing. I never gave this a second thought...until the day that I was lying in the woods, barely conscious. I was furious, but I was also...frightened. How could I let such a thing happen to me? How could I allow myself to be overcome by the very Kaze no Kizu that I myself had gone to such great lengths to display to my hanyou brother the day I had a grasp on Tetsusaiga? And then strange thoughts began to pour from my mind. Perhaps the next time I would not be so lucky. What would have happened if I would have discarded the Tenseiga for even a moment? Would I be alive today? This useless sword, the one that cannot kill, it saved my life, the very same life that loathed it. Then I met you, a little Human girl that meant no more than vermin in the eyes of I, Sesshoumaru. But were you afraid of me? I would presume not. You kept coming back, attempting to assist me in some sort of way. At first I turned you away, at first I was too blinded by my own troubles to even consider the world around me. But you never gave up, and that, Rin, is the one thing that I admire about you. Don't tell Jaken... You see, I rescued you because, like Tenseiga, you are bound to me, by my will or not. I thought that I would never admit these strange 'feelings' to anyone, but I believe that you understand, don't you, Rin...?" I looked down at Rin who had gone limp on my shoulder. "Rin?"

A small smile cursed my lip. "Hmm...she has fallen asleep."

I took her into my arm and stood up, and then I felt her stir in her sleep. _Oh no, don't wake up..._

"I love you Sesshoumaru-Papa..." she whispered.

"What?" I couldn't believe she was saying this, in my presence at that. Then I noticed that she was still sleeping. The little creature must have been dreaming about me. Her tiny fingers closed around my sleeve. "Sesshoumaru-Papa..."

"Don't call me that, Rin..." I whispered. I could feel my cheeks become tepid. These affections...I was not used to them. I sat back down and covered her slight body with my downy garment.

"Rin, I believe that you bring out a side of me that I should never allow anyone else to see, but since you're asleep, I suppose my secret's safe. After all, the night sky does not spread hearsay.

All of a sudden, Rin chuckled. "Yes, Sesshoumaru-Papa."

I stared down at the Rin who I believed was asleep and laughed quietly. "All right, Rin, you had me fooled, you win, now please, just go to sleep, and do not call me Sesshoumaru-Papa ever again."

I heard no reply. I felt her small heart beat against my chest. She was asleep again...?

"Fine, Rin. Fool around all you want, I don't care..."

_Oh, but you do care, Sesshoumaru-Sama. You shouldn't try to hide it..._

.:The End:.


End file.
